If you’ve ever stood next to your horse, one hand on the saddle, and suddenly felt a lump in your throat… you’re not alone.
Motherhood changes a lot — your schedule, your body, your priorities, your sleep — but it also changes something that feels harder to name:
how brave you feel.
Before babies, maybe you rode without thinking twice.
You didn’t analyze. You didn’t pause.
You just… got on.
And now?
You think about your kids.
You think about safety.
You think about what would happen if something went wrong.
Sometimes your heart wants to ride, but your brain quietly says, “Are you sure it’s worth it?”
If that’s you — this post is for you.
Why Fear Shows Up After Motherhood
There’s actually a scientific reason you feel more cautious now.
When you become a mom, your brain literally rewires. The part that scans for danger, your amygdala, becomes more active. Hormones designed to protect your baby make you more alert, more aware, and yes more cautious.
Nothing is wrong with you.
You didn’t “lose” your confidence.
You just gained responsibility.
Your brain is doing what it’s designed to do: keep you, and the tiny humans you love, safe.
But Here’s the Thing…
Fear isn’t the problem.
Letting it decide your life is.
When you avoid the saddle long enough, you start avoiding other things too:
your goals
your creativity
your passions
your identity
What starts as “I’m scared to ride right now,” slowly becomes:
“I don’t know if I’m allowed to want anything anymore.”
And that? That’s where we gently draw a new line.
Because yes, your kids need you.
But they also need a mother who is alive inside her own life.
So… How Do You Get Back in the Saddle?
Not with force.
Not with shame.
And definitely not by pretending you’re not nervous.
You get back in the saddle the same way horses learn — slowly, consistently, and with pressure that never overwhelms.
Here are small, real steps that help:
1. Start Where You Actually Are
Not where you “should” be.
If right now the idea of trotting makes your body tense — don’t trot.
Start smaller.
Brush your horse.
Lead them around.
Sit in the saddle while parked.
Walk.
That’s enough.
Your nervous system needs wins, not theatrics.
2. Choose Safe Conditions
Confidence loves clarity.
Set yourself up to feel supported:
ride with someone you trust
choose a quiet area
warm your horse up first
give yourself plenty of time so there’s no rush
You’re not weak for wanting safety — you’re smart.
3. Breathe Before You Mount
Fear doesn’t respond to logic — it responds to the body.
Before putting your foot in the stirrup, try this:
one hand on your heart
deep inhale through your nose for 4
slow exhale for 6
notice the ground beneath your feet
Then mount from that place — grounded, present, here.
4. Go Slow on Purpose
We think bravery is speed.
But real bravery is presence.
Walk rides count.
Just being near your horse counts.
Showing up counts.
You don’t have to go fast to be a rider.
Sometimes the walk is where you find yourself again.
5. Track Your Wins, Even the Tiny Ones
After every session, ask yourself:
What felt easier today?
Where did I surprise myself?
Did I leave feeling proud?
Write it down in your phone.
Let it become evidence:
I’m coming back. One step at a time.
What Happens When You Ride Again
Getting back in the saddle isn’t just about horses.
It spills into everything else:
your confidence
your dreams
your creativity
your voice
When you can be brave in the arena — even micro-brave — your brain learns:
I can do other brave things too.
Maybe that looks like posting your work again.
Or saying yes to an opportunity.
Or admitting you want something more.
Tiny bravery, repeated often, can change a life.
You Don’t Have to Be Fearless
Maybe today isn’t about galloping.
Maybe it’s about opening the tack room door.
Or breathing next to your horse.
Or letting yourself want your life back.
You don’t have to be fearless to ride.
You just have to be willing.
Before You Go — There’s a New Podcast Episode
If you want to go deeper into this topic, I recorded a full episode on the Horse Girl Revival Podcast all about riding again after motherhood — the science, the emotions, and the step-by-step roadmap.
🎧 Listen here: take a listen!
Episode title recommendation: Ride Scared: Returning to Horses With a Mother’s Heart
Save it for your next barn drive — it’s a good one.